For He Chose Us...
God & Adoption
Growing up, I was always told “Jesus loves you.” I attended Church and Sunday school every week and every Wednesday I went to bible study. I knew every bible verse and went to every Church camp. My relationship with God consisted of knowing John 3:16 and a thousand other verses to recite. On the outside, I was a “perfect Christian” but on the inside, I had so much hate and anger. I was so angry with my birth parents that they were able to give up their daughter. I hated that I wasn’t with family who looked like me. I hated that I was different. I felt abandoned- my own birth parents didn’t want me why would my adoptive parents? My hatred prevented me from having relationships with my family because I was so bitter.
My mom encouraged Nicole and I to go to Young Life Camp over MLK weekend. I remember sitting in the sessions where they were talking about God thinking “I’m already a Christian, I don’t need this. Why am I even here?” As the sessions continued to become deeper, more and more of what was being said started resonating with me. I was loved. I was cared for by a God who called me his daughter. This was a God who would never leave me nor forsake me. A God who loved me so much he sent his own son to earth to die for my sins. I remember them releasing us after the final talk to go think. They turned off all the lights in camp so the only thing you could see were the stars. I remember looking up in the sky and seeing God’s glory for the first time. For the first time in my life, I asked God to come into my heart. I asked him to take my bitterness and hatred away from me.
Instantly, I felt peace. I can’t begin to describe my peace other than it was from God. All those feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and hatred were replaced with love and kindness. For the first time, I felt compassion and love towards my birth parents.
There are many days that have changed my life but January 15th will forever be one of my favorite days. Without God, my life would be completely different. I found my identity in Christ and will always be loved by him.
And I am not ashamed to hide my story.
My mom encouraged Nicole and I to go to Young Life Camp over MLK weekend. I remember sitting in the sessions where they were talking about God thinking “I’m already a Christian, I don’t need this. Why am I even here?” As the sessions continued to become deeper, more and more of what was being said started resonating with me. I was loved. I was cared for by a God who called me his daughter. This was a God who would never leave me nor forsake me. A God who loved me so much he sent his own son to earth to die for my sins. I remember them releasing us after the final talk to go think. They turned off all the lights in camp so the only thing you could see were the stars. I remember looking up in the sky and seeing God’s glory for the first time. For the first time in my life, I asked God to come into my heart. I asked him to take my bitterness and hatred away from me.
Instantly, I felt peace. I can’t begin to describe my peace other than it was from God. All those feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and hatred were replaced with love and kindness. For the first time, I felt compassion and love towards my birth parents.
There are many days that have changed my life but January 15th will forever be one of my favorite days. Without God, my life would be completely different. I found my identity in Christ and will always be loved by him.
And I am not ashamed to hide my story.
